Sue Bahr
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Oh, those pesky first lines...

2/19/2015

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How many times have you re-written that pesky opening line? If you're like me, it's too many times to count. Here are no less than four versions of my fantasy called "Fairless." My first two pass-throughs were third person, past tense. The second are first person, present tense.

*********************

Tipper Jones carried within her a tiny seed of hope.

Hope that change was possible. That broken systems could at least be altered if not fixed. She was brave enough to ask questions, but she’d lived a lie protecting that seed. Now, as she crept outside in the middle of the night, she was offering proof of its existence and threatening everyone she loved.


***********************


Tipper should’ve turned around, but she couldn’t. Hope needed action to exist and she was desperate. She would never find the dream boy without flying.

Her linen tunic clung to her body. Sweat beaded on her forehead. She was a fool for taking such risks. A fool with hope buried deep inside… 

************************

I’m a fool to fall in love with a dream.

I glance at my hand lit by sage-green moonlight, imagining your fingers entwined in mine. How many nights have I clutched yours, wishing you were real? A dozen? More?

Too many times to be left aching, as you are ripped away.




*************************

I curse you.

I curse you, my nameless boy, for haunting me over and over in a dream, leaving me aching for something I can never have, and proving everyone right. There is something wrong with Tipper Jones.


***********************

All those versions, and I still don't have it right. I like some more than others, but in the end not one of them are correct for the story. Let me explain.


I like to write cleanly. I like to polish chapters before moving on to the next. The problem with this particular approach lies in my inability to pre-plot a novel. Editing a chapter before the big picture is complete is like putting details on an image drawn in the sand on a windy day. 


I finally realized this on a windy day. The story's climactic ending hit me and with that revelation, the opening sequence became blindingly clear. So, it's back to writing, but I won't be touching those opening lines until the final scene is complete. I'm done wasting time.


What about you? In love with  your first few lines? Care to share?


Happy writing!
Sue


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The old/newest thing... Antiheros

2/15/2015

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Anti-heros. Complex characters who are both hero and villain, all rolled up into one interesting package. I find them both fascinating and compelling.
They aren't all as black and white as The Hulk-flipping from good to evil with a burst of anger. That line is often blurred in anti-heros, so why use the Hulk as an example?
In the movie, The Avengers, the Hulk is feared and rightly so. David Brenner can't control this beast. Once unleashed, he will destroy anything that gets in his way. We know this. So midway through the film, when they are airborne and the most vulnerable and the Hulk emerges, we know what's coming. But... and this is the but that makes him an anti-hero... we are always rooting for him, wishing just this once, the Hulk will change and become a decent guy. David Brenner's got to be in there somewhere, right?
Anti-heros are bad guys that have the potential to do good.


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Creating interesting protagonists...

2/8/2015

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I used to think of main characters as the "good guy." You know, the hero or heroine? The one who saves the day? Trouble with good guys is, well, they can feel boring, flat, or one-dimensional. I'm all in favor of the good guy winning, but at least let the character be interesting!

Some writers imbue their protagonist with quirky characteristics. Maybe it's a speaking tic (like repeating words) or laughing at all the wrong times, but quirk alone doesn't cut it for me. I want a character that walks that line. They are good but flawed. 


Tipper Jones is the protagonist in my fantasy. I created her to be a head-strong, stubborn young woman and thought I'd got it right. Then a few writer friends generously agreed to read my novel and workshop it last summer, and boy did I get some stunning feedback.

I thought Tipper was strong. They saw her as pig-headed.
I thought she was sensitive. They saw her as clueless.
I thought Tipper underwent a character arc. They said she was static and missed a myriad of opportunities to change and grow.


How did I go so wrong?

I gave myself some time off after the last workshop to let the information settle. I needed emotional distance to understand this information.

A few months later, ready to tackle the next round of edits, I read through the group's wonderful comments and realized, these aren't bad things! 

Pig-headed goes far beyond strength. It's a character with a pit-bull tenacity who will see her goals accomplished. Sure, she'll step on toes along the way and clash heads with her fellow travelers, but that creates tension and tension keeps a reader reading.

Clueless is ever so much more interesting than someone who is sensitive AND it allows room for personal growth. 

Static is bad. This is one thing I'm in the process of fixing because pig-headed is okay in the beginning, but somewhere along the way Tipper needs to respond, not react. She needs to realize there are others involved in the same fight. Others with needs and goals just as important as hers. She needs to grow and change to truly become the "good guy" she's destined to be.

So, what do you think? What makes an interesting protagonist to you? Got a favorite you'd care to share? I'd love to hear from you!

Happy writing!
Sue
 
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Making your baddies super bad...

2/5/2015

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My novel Fairless is a YA fantasy, and so by definition must have a uber bad antagonist. You know the kind, a villain of epic proportion? One so dark, so evil that a protagonist has to fight to stay alive, much less change the world?

My first draft was like most first drafts: messy and shallow. The character and what's a stake were all ill-defined. My mighty protagonist, Tipper Jones, developed okay, but I needed a foil, a reason for her to take on the world. That was the missing link. Who was the antagonist? Some amorphous blog called "society?" How could I pit her against something without a name?

My next swing through, I decided I needed a better-defined antagonist, so I set Tipper up against the Shadow. Ooh, what a vicious, rigid character. The Shadow reacted against Tipper's need for self-definition and freedom from absolutes. There was no defying such a powerful character.

I thought I was done. I had it right. Tipper defied the Shadow and the Shadow gave chase. But then I realized something was still missing. The Shadow existed to serve the High Sovereign and the High Sovereign set the rules of society- so wasn't she the real antagonist?  Tipper would have to challenge the Sovereign to make any lasting changes in her world. And therein lay the problem.

There was no connection between Tipper and the Sovereign. 

Ever wonder why it can be difficult to become emotionally involved in fantasy? I did. I'd read and stumble through and think, I don't get it! The characters are great, the plot is flawless, so why don't I care about what's happening?

I've since learned the closer the relationship between protagonist and antagonist, the stronger the tension. Makes sense, doesn't it? It's that history between the two that pulls and tugs them apart. Think of it this way- a story between father and daughter and their struggles will have high emotional tension. A story of a young girl and the norms of society? Not so much.


So, it's back to re-write number three where I'll add a connection between the two--some past history that hints at the future. Then when Tipper takes on the Sovereign, it'll be personal.


What do you think? Care to leave a comment? I'd love to hear from you!

Happy writing-
Sue

 
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